Letter From A Dying Man

12 June 2010

I wrote this under a year ago (8/21/09 at 8:41 PM), how time flies! It was about a certain lady I worked with. I wasn't well and wanted to dramatize everything. I played the dying fellow who needed to communicate a few things before breathing his last!


I feel terrible, the left side of my brain feels like it wants to part with my right plus I have a serious fever. Probably a bad flu. Anyways, I've been thinking, suppose I was dying...

First off, let me say that I wouldn't mind dying. I would love to leave this sinful self and go to a place where there is no sin- NO SIN! I definitely wouldn't mind dying. A few moments ago, I asked myself what I would do if I was dying. What would I do? Almost immediately, I knew what I would do. I would write a letter to Mrs. S. Mrs S is a great woman I have had the pleasure of being with the past number of weeks. Unfortunately, it has also been a painful experience. She loves the world and she loves sin.

Just today, I was momentarily happy, when a lady told me that she had just discovered that I am the son of Conrad Mbewe. "I've always wondered about you," she said, "you are so different from other young men I see around".

I was so excited because a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to preach at the Youth Meeting and my point was that the most effective way to evangelise is by "being different". People must see a difference in you. Finally, I had practice what I had preached.

My joy was short lived when I remembered my failure in being different with Mrs. S. Sure I was a good guy but I could have been a much much better testimony of my salvation. If I were dying, I would leave this note for Mrs. S.

____________________________________

 

Dear Mrs. S.

I feel very unwell and it is clear that my life is ebbing away. As soon as I realised that I was dying, I put pen to paper to write this note to you.

You are a wonderful lady. You have been so good to me during my time with you. You care so much for your colleagues. You always remember others when you have been blessed. In this matter, you have been a great example to me. Your selflessness has shown me the ugliness of my selfishness.

There is, though, something that has bothered me incredibly during our time together. Why do you love sin and the world so much? Your love for alcohol and parties distresses me to the core.

Didn't you ever wonder why I never retained you "Enjoy your weekend" wishes? I'll tell you why. Its because the whole week you would have been talking about how you would enjoy drinking your head off at a party. How could I surely wish you to enjoy that? I prayed that you would actually never enjoy your weekends.

Every time you spoke about how much you would drink over the weekend, about how you looked forward to the big party, I resisted the urge, each and every single time, to grab you by your collar and scream in your face: "How foolish are you?!!! You have a daughter at home who is under 10 and a son, they live with their father abroad, why not spend time with them??!! Why not spend your weekends with your children? You prefer to spend it with equally foolish friends and your alcohol instead, why??!! Don't you love your kids? Why not make the most of the time you have with them before they return abroad? Why??

You are enslaved to alcohol. Every time you were unwell and was given medicine that would require you to stay away from alcohol, it was the same line over and over. You literally searched the web to find out whether you would indeed have to stay away from your precious beverages. Why go to such lengths when no alcohol would mean more time with your kids?

5 days a week you work 6 to 6, no time for your kids when you get home tired and yet at times you even had time to drink. Your Saturdays would be spent drinking and partying through the night, and obviously Sunday, would be your day of rest. Weeks are passing and turning to months, months to years. Time is like a vapour, before you know it, your kids would have grown without actually knowing their mother, all because she preferred alcohol instead.

But even more important than your kids, is your soul. I know I was not the best example of godliness and true Christianity. In so many ways I was a failure but God loves you and calls you to quit living for yourself and start living for him. He speaks of his precious Son, Jesus, whom he gave to be slaughtered for you. There's an emptiness inside you that you cannot deny. You want to be happy and have a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment in your life. You may not admit it to anyone but at least admit it to yourself, nothing you have tried has given you real joy, real peace and real fulfilment. Don't despair, all that and so much more is found in the man who died for you. Go to God in prayer. Tell him about how you have tried it all and are ready to give it all up to try him. He will not disappoint if only you confess the wrong things you have done to him and ask him to change you and become your Lord and your Saviour. The second you call on him, he'll show up! His never let anyone down, do it and one day you will join me in heaven, where there will be joy everlasting!

Please think about these things,

Yours in earnest,
Mbewe.

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