Five Reasons Why Pompi, Abel And Whoever Else MUSTN'T Minister In Clubs

Pompi is arguably Zambia's number one artist at the moment.

If Pompi is number one, Abel is definitely number two!

The music scene in Zambia is quite interesting at the moment. Arguably the most popular musicians right now are two fellows, Pompi & Abel Chungu. Both professing Christians. Pompi, a recent convert, has just released a number one album where he is talking about his new found faith in Christ, albeit in undertones. Abel on the other hand is full fledged, I believe he is or was or studied to be a Youth Pastor and know for certain he leads worship at his church. His album is number two on the charts. They have caused quite a stir by performing or ministering at night clubs saying that they are using the opportunity for the promotion of the gospel. Here's what I make of it all:

The FACT of the matter is that Jesus Christ commanded us to go into ALL the world and preach the good news (Matthew 28:19). The FACT is that we are to make the most of every opportunity to preach the gospel (Colossians 4:5). That we must be like Jesus, who spent his time with sinners, is an undeniable FACT (Mark 2:13-17). FACT: Even Paul said, he became all things to all men for the sake of the gospel (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).

Why then must these guys STOP ministering in clubs?

1)      It is a contradiction i.e. it doesn’t make sense.

While it is NOT a contradiction for a Christian to be found among sinners, after all how else will he/she share the gospel with them, it is a contradiction for a Christian to be found in compromising acts, situations and environments even if it is in a bid to win over the lost. It is NOT a contradiction for a ‘green person’ (who cares about the trees and stuff) to be found with people who cut down trees in a bid to win them over. However, a ‘green person’ accepting to give a speech at a Timber-Company-sponsored-and-run campaign wouldn’t make sense. The platform might very well be huge but you cannot ignore the contradiction and a loss of credibility is bound to ensue.

2)      It is dangerous.

Like one preacher said, “The strongest, wisest and most godly men who ever lived, all fell to sexual sin. I am not stronger than Samson, wiser than Solomon or godlier than David...” These guys are human. They cannot go into a place where there are loose and scantily dressed who are dancing provocatively and are not only inviting men but even flat out approaching men to have a ‘nice time’ with them, without feeling the pull of temptation. And since the temptation is there to sin physically, despite all the eyes on you, what more mentally where you can wander off with no body ever knowing? Even in their thoughts they will be tempted to play out encounters with the lewd women they see. I don’t think God would have you spread his word at the expense of your purity and testimony both of which will be compromised if you yield to the temptation. When Joseph was grabbed by a lustful and half naked woman, he fled! He could have taken that opportunity to show her the error of her ways. He could have said, “I’m not going to run because greater is he that is in me…” But he literally RAN out. Why? He wasn’t going to give temptation a tenth of a chance. To go into a club to do evangelism is to assume you are stronger than Samson, wiser than Solomon and godlier than David. I would not be so bold!

3)      It is not necessary.

There are ENOUGH opportunities in less compromising places. What about those who say, "clubs have one of the largest assemblies of lost sinners?" They say, "it’s a golden opportunity to speak to so many lost people at one time." Well, that may be true but there are infinitely less compromising situations where you can minister to a descent crowd of people. These guys are popular musicians who can pull crowds. Have they tried holding open air concerts in the different neighborhoods of Lusaka? Have they tried holding a concert at the Agricultural Show or Trade Fair in Ndola? Have they tried going to places such as Arcades where musicians can set up outside under a shelter and sing? Have they tried schools, churches, restaurants, youth groups, malls, community halls, parks, etc? It is just not necessary to go into clubs; all the places I’ve mentioned are TEEMING with people and would do fine and keep them quite busy in ministering that they’ll never have time to hit the clubs. And many of them would not require them to spend their own money.

4)      It is not effective.

I would be both ARROGANT and FOOLISH to deny the possibility that someone can be saved after hearing Pompi or Abel or whoever else minister in a club. It is possible and while I would be skeptical, I wouldn’t out rightly refute someone who claimed to be saved through such an endeavor. But we must be real. People in a club are NOT in the sort of frame of mind or overall state to be reasoned with. And gospel preaching (and when I use preaching I mean or its forms, music included) is to wrestling with someone’s mind. It’s to reason with them. If they can’t hear you because the environment is too noisy or too distracting or because they are not in the mood, you're wasting your time. Pack up and try another time. You may be saying it's worth it for even one person who hears. Well, you're right, but wouldn't it then be even more worth it to go and minister in a place where you are sure more than half are paying attention? Clubs are definitely not the place for speaking to people’s minds, apart from their very nature; the people themselves are there for fun. They want to have a good time, not be told to change their ways and so on. Look, going into clubs is one way of doing it, but I’d advise these guys to throw their energies into more effective ways of doing it. There are much more conducive places and environments where they can effectively share the gospel.

5)      It is not feasible.

If you preach the true UNADULTERATED gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ in a club, you WILL be thrown out, If not by the clubbers themselves then definitely by the owners of the club or function that invited you. The people at the club have gone there to have a nice time. They’ve gone there to drink, party, do drugs, crack unwholesome jokes, indulge in sexual encounters and so on. If you are going to preach the gospel (and again I use preach generically) you will condemn such behavior and call it sin and invite them to amend their ways. They will not take it kindly and will send you out. If you go there and say, “Jesus loves you, accept him as your Lord and Saviour,” then you are not preaching the gospel. This is the gospel: that what we do, think and say is sin and offensive to God and that even before we are born we are sinners, etc. If the sin part is absent you are preaching something else.

Conclusion

Let me end by giving a personal testimony. I get in front of people with a guitar to sing from time to time. I recall singing at a school one night. I sang a simple song which is really a prayer. “Lord I wanna yearn for you, I wanna burn with passion over you and only you.” Everyone seemed quite sobered up by the song. However, right after I was done, some students came up to talk or sing or something, I can’t really remember and one of them while speaking made a mistake and in the same way one would say, “Sorry” or “I beg your pardon”, the student cursed. Most of the students broke into uncontrollable laughter and I have to tell you it broke my heart. I had sang my heart out, I had spoken before singing about what the song meant. I had told them about the importance of yearning and desiring for God and everyone seemed sobered up but barely five minutes later, they were all laughing because someone cursed. It killed me. I still had to sing a song or two and when I got up I stood before them broken and I made it very clear how I felt. I poured my heart out and moved on to sing my next song.

Now that was one person, who cursed once. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go into a club and stand in front of a half drank, half naked and fully rowdy and wild crowd to minister the gospel in the TOUGH medium of music with a heart that sincerely wants to see these people saved and changed while they dance, sing, laugh, curse, drink (and everything else) away. It might not be impossible but it will certainly be close to impossible. And I doubt that you would manage to leave without a broken heart and tear filled eyes each night you try it.

“Yes but nobody said it would be easy”, you might be saying. To which I reply, why go through that when there are more effective, safe, feasible, sensible ways?

Time

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." ~ Psalm 90:12.

One thing Zambians are very poor at is keeping time. The average meeting in Zambia will start 30 minutes to an hour late. As far as I know, only exams start on time. It is actually a chronic problem. The reason why Zambians are poor with time is simply because they, or should I say 'we', do not value time. And the reason for that is we think we have a lot of it.

Anything that you have in excess will not be valued. If you have plenty of money, generally, you will be reckless with it. A child with plenty of sweets will not keep track of (or as the bible passage above puts it, 'number') them. As long as you think you have a lot of something, you will not value it. After all, there's plenty of it.

If a man is told that at this very moment tomorrow he will die i.e. He will die in exactly 24 hours, he will 'number' his hours. He won't be reckless with his time, he will put every minute to good use. Why? He no longer has 'all the time in the world'.

That phrase, "All the time in the world", is actually one of the greatest lies on the earth as far as time is concerned. In fact, the bible is quite clear about how little time any given person has:

Job 7:7~ Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath; my eyes will never see happiness again.

Psalm 144:4~ Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.

Proverbs 27:1~ Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.

James 4:14~ yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

There are a few more verse on top of these that hammer the same nail. Life is brief. The one thing that we do not have is time.

Ask any parent who's child has gone off to college or gotten married, they'll tell you. "It feels like yesterday when he/she was just a little baby."

One of the principles that can help with ones attitude towards time is to realize what a great resource time is. Isn't it amazing that two men will be given the same amount of time and yet one will achieve up to five times more than the other? Why? Because for the one, time is something that he uses to the full while for the other time is meant to be 'passed'. Isn't it amazing that one 21 old takes the gold medal at the Olympics in one of the swimming competitions while millions of others hold no achievement that can compare even slightly? They both had exactly the same amount of time only that one maximized on the resource.

The people most blessed with the resource of time are young people. If there is one resource at the disposal of youths, it is time. Unfortunately, many squander away their youth doing nothing productive and at the end of their teen years discover, they don't really have anything to point to as an achievement. Some, however, do use their time wisely. Those are the young people who turn into the great sports men and women of our world, the great men and women of wealth, the great minds of the day and so on. People who picked up interests or recognized certain abilities in themselves and poured themselves wholly into them. They would never be where they are today if they never recognized the great resource of time that was at their disposal and used it to the full.

A second principle that can help improve one's attitude towards time is simply to take seriously the brevity of life. To realize that they really don't have all the time in the world. When you realize how brief life is and that you are not guaranteed tomorrow, you will make the most of your time and therefore gain a heart of wisdom.

That's what Psalm 90:12 is all about. When we number our days which simply means valuing our days, we will make the most of each day and therefore be wiser men and women.

Notice however, that Moses, the writer of these words, asks the Lord to teach him. We would do well to make a similar request to our God.

Dependence On God

If I could pick a theme for my year it would be "Dependence on God". It has recently occurred to me that I have spent many of the last few years ensuring all my bases are covered and having contingencies for every eventuality. When faced with a problem, I have looked to my own strength and capabilities to solve the problem long before I looked to God. Only when things have gotten completely out of control have I first turned to the Lord.

This kind of attitude towards life has given me a self sufficient kind of way of living life. It has resulted in a gradual but certain decline in my prayer life. If I had depended on God more and more in the past as opposed to less and less, I would have certainly been more prayerful.

Probably the main reason why I have realized this in my life is by seeing the opposite in my girlfriend's life. She prays about everything-EVERYTHING. Even for things which are "straight forward", she prays. There have been times when I have told her about something which has me concerned or worried and I cannot remember how many times she has replied with these three words: "Pray about it." I thank God for her.

I realize that there is a place for human responsibility. I must do my part and be faithful. However, there is an extreme, and that is where I have found myself in the last few years. I have found myself looking to the contingency plans I have made long before I think of looking to the Lord when faced with a challenge or an unexpected twist in events.

It is my goal this year to learn to stop and pray. Even when I can see viable solutions, it is my desire that I depend on God for sustenance and deliverance. After all, He is good, anyone who makes God his refuge is blessed.

Psalm 34:8~Taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is that man who takes refuge in Him.

Zambian Culture: The Bride Price

It's every young man's nightmare and every father of the bride's dream. The bride price. Most father's take it as an opportunity to make a little money, make a down payment on a vehicle, go for a holiday or renovate the house. Indeed one man's poison is another man's cup of tea. Here's how it typically works.

A young man finds a girl and wants to marry her. He looks for a representative, another man who IS NOT his father. This man becomes the young man's intermediary between him and the girl's family. This is in keeping with African Culture. It would be disrespectful for a young man to approach the father of the girl he is eyeing to declare his interesting in taking her hand in marriage. Thus he elects a man to represent him. The young man then tells the young lady to inform her family that he wants to marry her and would like to declare interest in a gesture normally called "taking plates". These plates are a token perhaps of appreciation at being given an audience. A small sum of money is put on a plate and covered with another plate. If these plates are accepted, then the man has been approved of and negotiations may begin. If they have been rejected it is just that. His representative travels to a location where he has been told the plates must be brought. There, a meeting is held where, through his representative, his interest in the girl is declared. This process is then followed immediately or in another meeting by the pronouncement of the bride price by the older men of the bride's family, particularly the mother's and father's brothers. The father may attend but not participate actively. He leaves this to his brothers and brothers-in-law. He is not forbidden however, and may or may not choose to actively participate.

Before the negotiations (which is the second process) may begin, the man is called into the meeting (until then he would have been present), and is asked to confirm whether or not the girl, who is also called in, is in fact the one who he wants. The girl is also asked to confirm if the man is indeed the one. After this process, both of them are excused and negotiations may begin.

At this point the wisdom of the young man in his choice of a representative is put to the test. His representative must use his 'negotiation skills' to ensure that the bride price quoted is favourable to the young man. When a price is agreed upon, the young man is free to pay whenever he is ready. If at any point the girl's family change their mind about him or he about her, the plates are returned and negotiations are terminated. The price may be monetary or otherwise but mostly will be largely monetary with a few items such as a suit for the Dad, a chicken etc.

Once the price is paid in full, traditionally, the girl is his wife. In reality, he may now marry her with her family's blessing.

What then is the use or purpose of the bride price? The general assumption and understanding is that the man is buying the girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. The bride price has never been, even historically about purchasing the girl. Father's, unfortunately, have distorted the beauty and use of this important tradition.

Even young ladies misunderstand the bride price. If they heard that their father had set the price at an amount so low, the question in their minds would be, "I'm I so cheap?" They don't realize that if they bride price was about buying and selling, they would die spinsters.

What then is the use of the bride price?

A lot of flings take place among young people in the world. A father may be aware that his daughter is in some kind of relationship. However, he will only rejoice when he hears that the young man wants to "bring plates". The only way a young man can really prove his seriousness is by offering to bring plates which as I have explained is indicative of a man's intention to marry a girl. Until then, that relationship is not guaranteed to culminate into marriage. That is the first function of the bride price. It is proof of seriousness intent.

Secondly, the bride price plays a pivotal role in ensuring the young man can take care of the girl. Many instances, the man is completely new to the girl's family. They have no idea who he is, where he is from, etc. This only comes to light when the girl is privately questions. However, they cannot depend on the girl's testimony as proof that he can financially provide for her. What better way of finding out than giving him an amount for him to pay?

The bride price is deliberately high. This serves a third function. The bride price is high to also see how resourceful the young man is. Will the young man be able to cope when there are financial demands in the home that he does not have the money to satisfy? If he was able to source the money for the bride price, he probably will manage to find money in tight situations to keep the family afloat.

What if the man's family helps him pay the bride price? Surely his resourcefulness will not be put to the test. Well, if his family paid for his bride price then his family's assets are likely to pull them out of any tight situation they find themselves in when they are married. You may further probe, what if he borrows the money to pay the bride price? If he has the contacts to borrow enough money to pay the bride price before marriage, he probably will after marriage! What if he has a problem and lands the family in debt? Well, the bride price doesn't guarantee 100% that a man will be able to take care of the girl. There will obviously outlier cases where a man who cannot manage to take care of the girl finds the money however, as a general rule, if a man can find the money to pay the bride price, he is resourceful enough to take care of his family. If he can come forward and take the girl as his wife in the right way, following the traditions and the culture in a way that honours the girl's family, he is responsible enough to take care of his family and if he can pay the money, he will be able to take care of his family-as a general rule.

A lot of young men hate having to pay the money. And many times they are required to pay unreasonable amounts of money. However, if men can look at this as an opportunity to prove their ability to take care of the girl, they would do it more cheerfully. They would send their representatives to the negotiation table with the words, "Tell them to bring it on."

Many of our traditions do not go against God's law and will, particularly, and we keep them because they still hold value and meaning in our lives. I believe the bride price is one such tradition. It separates boys, who want to flirt with girls, from men who want to marry girls. And helps put confidence in the family that they are giving their daughter away to a man who will care for her in such a way that she never goes without and a man who loved her enough to go through the lengthy and often taxing process.

One other thing you notice in Zambian culture is that the man is always held in high esteem by the girl's family post the wedding. This is because if he has married her then he has jumped through all the hoops and hurdles our culture puts between him and his beloved in order to finally get her and has been able to overcome the biggest hurdle of them all, the bride price!

Long live the bride price!

Fathers And Sons

To my father, who has shown me that a real man is a man after God's own heart.

When a boy is making the transition from boyhood to manhood, there is no book he can pick up, or magazine he can read, or website he can surf to find out all the intricate details of who a man really is. There is no universal, detailed description of what it means to be a man. How must a man look? How must he carry himself? How must he relate to those above or below him? How must he treat women? How is a boy, making that transition to manhood, to decide what route he will take on all these things?

A boy who is making this inevitable transition is almost like a person making his way through a maze. He has no map and could take several routes to his destination. Which route will he take? What techniques and methods will he use to navigate his way so he makes it to the end intact? It would be so much easier to have footsteps in front of him that he could simply follow. Likewise, the boy does not have a detailed description of what he has to become. It's the little things that matter like how a man must talk, should he be loud or should he be quiet? Should he joke or should he be serious? What about the way a man must walk? Must a man bounce as he takes his strides? Must he walk briskly or take his time? It goes on and on, how should keep his hair or his beard? How should he sit? How should he relate to women? And so on and so forth.

Because of all these variables, a father plays a pivotal role and very rarely are fathers conscious of this. If you take a moment to observe most sons who have had a father figure growing up you will soon see how much the son copies his father.

The son does not do this consciously. He doesn't say "Ok, how must I walk? Let me see how dad walks." No, he simply imitates what he sees and before long it becomes who he is.

I have two friends who shave their heads completely. I've often wondered why they should choose such a weird hair style at such a young age and then I noticed that their fathers both keep their hair that way. There's a young man I know who has a priceless smile but always wears a grave face. Again I wondered why, then I discovered his Dad smiles very rarely. There's another friend of mine who speaks exactly the way his father speaks, two in fact. There is a man at church who never makes a '4' or with his legs (crosses his legs) when he is sits. I have never seen his son make a '4' either. There's a man who is simply a clown, you guessed right, his son is always clowning around. There's another boy also who speaks very shyly, his father speaks exactly the same way. I could go on and on.

Already, genetically, sons will have mannerisms and habits similar to their fathers but they become even more like their fathers because when they are growing up the definition of a man they have is the one of the man of the home, and consequently, many of those small details I mentioned are simply adopted from their fathers. This all happens with both father and son virtually unaware.

That is why fathers are important to their sons. You are your son's definition of a man. Two of my friends complain incessantly about their fathers and I often wonder why they have taken so much of the way they look and carry themselves from their fathers if they aren't so fond of them. It is something they really can't help. And that is why many young men who grow up without fathers end up being criminals. Being at an impressionable age, they look to the 'stars' in society and in the media and take their cue from them much to their own peril.

Fathers, believe it or not your son is watching. He sees how you sit, walk, talk, shave, drive, etc, and that is his view of what being a real man is. He sees how you treat your wife and your domestic workers. You are what he will become. Your son will rise or fall because of what you have portrayed manhood to be.

I'm thankful for my father in whom I have seen that a real man must prioritize; God first, himself last and others in between and that the more you submit yourself to God, the bigger the man you are. Thanks Dad!

If Anyone Thirsts...

 

I am to preach at an outing for children in their last year of primary school and the theme is taken from John 7:37-39:

On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

(John 7:37-39 ESV)

It's a text most would be familiar with and yet we may not see how Jesus' statement related to what was going on.

A study of the context reveals that Jesus makes this proclamation during the Feast of Booths, a feast that has several names but that particular name is my favourite. It is probably best known as the Feast of Tabernacles. This was one of the three annual feast but was the most popular.

This feast came at a joyful time of the year (around this very time actually, September into October, the seventh month on the Jewish calendar, the 15 day) when the last items to be harvested came in. It took just over a week and was lots of fun especially for children, I would imagine. During this time all the men journeyed to Jerusalem where they presented a portion of their harvest to thank God for the harvest and pray for the 'latter rain' that would prepare the earth for the next farming season. During the eight day feast, the families left their houses and set up tents or booths where they stayed, and that's why I say the children must have loved it. This was done to remember the way their ancestors lived in tents during their 40 year journey to the promised land from Egypt.

During the eight days, one of the daily highlights would be the time that the Priest would get a golden jug and walk down to the pool of Siloam and fetch water followed by a large procession. He would then return through the same entrance, called the 'water gate' whose name was taken from this very ritual, and go to the alter where another Priest would be waiting with another golden jug holding some wine from the harvest. Together they would pour out the contents of the jugs into basins that would drain to the base of the altar. As they did this the audience would begin singing Psalm 118:25-26 which was a song related to the Messiah.

Save us, we pray, O LORD!
O LORD, we pray, give us success!
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!
We bless you from the house of the LORD.
(Psalm 118:25-26 ESV)

It is at this point on the last day of the feast, when all the people are gathered to see this spectacle for that last time till the passing of another year that Christ stands up and in a loud voice shouts that great proclamation. Jesus was trying to communicate something and he got his point across.

Jesus was saying that he was the salvation of which they sang. Salvation had indeed come to Israel at last! Jesus was declaring that He was Messiah and that everyone who would believe in Him would receive the gift or indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the "living water," and would never be empty again. I am the reality that the water in this ceremony symbolizes-the true life giver through whom the Holy Spirit is also given as John interprets in the text.

What a beautiful picture.

The end of chapter 7 from the point of Jesus' proclamation shows that the people got the point. Even the officers who should have pounced on Jesus for interrupting such a solemn and beautiful occasion were stunned by Jesus' statement and had to come to grips with the thought that maybe this really was the Christ.

Isaiah says:

For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
  and streams on the dry ground;
 I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring,
  and my blessing on your descendants.
 They shall spring up among the grass
  like willows by flowing streams.
 This one will say, ‘I am the LORD's,’
  another will call on the name of Jacob,
 and another will write on his hand, ‘The LORD's,’
  and name himself by the name of Israel.”

(Isaiah 44:3-5 ESV)

Petauke Scenes

I was out in Petauke for just over a week, and spent the bulk of my time in the villages. Here are a few things I found interesting and 'shareworthy':

 

The first is Chimwemwe lodge. The best place you can stay if you are visiting Petauke. We only managed to afford it cause all four of us shared one room, and since we were staying so long we got a discount! Here is our little cabin with two of my three roomies pictured there.

The norm in the villages I visited was that families had cows, goats, chickens and pigs. During interactions with the villagers, animals would be passing all around us as they live with their owners. Pictured above are two adult cows right behind their owner's hut.

Pigs are by far the most disgusting animals in the village. Most of the adult females were pregnant implying that we had just missed the mating season. Pigs would only be doing one of two things at any given time, eating or sleeping. Or rubbing themselves against the back of a tree after rolling in mud. They would be so fixed on grazing or intently smelling the ground in search of things to nibble that when a car or human approached they'd run off a few metres and continue grazing without bothering to see what it was that approached them.

Now look at this clever invention. I had the privilege of sitting on one and plan on getting some tools and wood so I can construct a few for my home when I have my own family.

The Watch Tower or Jehovah's Witnesses are really zealous in the villages. As you travel through the villages, every few kilometers, you found this. A Kingdom Hall building for the JWs. They are obviously strategically placed so that anyone who is interested in joining their churches, has access to one close by wherever they are in the villages. Compared to the houses and homestead of the villagers, this place looked awesome, the ground is cleared, the building is made of brick and just looks good and they even have toilets which appear to the left of the picture halfway from the top which follow the design of the main building. These guys mean business.

Sunday found us at Petuake Grace Reformed Baptist Church. They have a lovely building that is under construction, though they have began meeting there already, located on high ground and to the right of this picture is a great catchment of houses on lower ground for them to reach out to. And that works out great because when inviting them to church during their door to door evangelism, all they'll have to do is point to the church on the hill.

The dogs in the villages just lie around all day. I do not recall hearing a single bark while I was there. This might be because they are so thin and obviously don't get much to eat.

This young family agreed to take a photo in front of their house after I spoke to them. The guy is 22 and the girl is 17. Their little girl was a little over 6 months. Yes, its a very small house, just one room but he is doing alright. He owns his fair share of livestock.

Where there's a will, there's a way. There's no electricity in the village but that doesn't stop them from buying television sets and enjoying them.

This was the closest I saw a man come to making his place more beautiful by planting some trees and putting a hedge around his home. Most villagers don't care about this and just construct homes without caring in the slightest about Aesthetics.

Let me end here: This lady impressed me as she was here with several other women from the village who gathered together to have their under five year old children checked by a health team. She is the only one who took the time to groom her children and make them look nice and presentable. I told her how great a job she had done and offered to take a picture of her with her girls. She was much obliged!

Divorce

It seems the generally consensus is that divorce is lawful only in the case of marital unfaithfulness. I wish to disagree.

I have never been married and have never, therefore, experienced the pain of being cheated on by a spouse. I do not seek or mean to undermine that in any way and realize how difficult it must be to be cheated on. I am in a relationship, and just the thought of my girlfriend cheating on me is bad enough. I cannot claim that I would soldier on and continue with her if she did cheat on me in courtship, let alone marriage. The hurt and the loss of trust and all the other things that are involved really would require grace from the Lord to endure.

I do agree however, with Ephesians 5:

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

(Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV)

I struggle to see, and I would gladly welcome anyone who does to open my eyes, how a man can divorce his wife and obey this passage.

First of all this passage speaks of 'agape' love. Christ loved the church with agape love, a love which is unconditional. Nothing can be done to attain this love and nothing can be done to lose it. This is because this love is not based on feelings or emotions, this love is based on choice. Agape love chooses its object and showers him/her with love. That is how Christ loved the church and that is how husbands must love their wives. How do you leave your wife if she commits adultery and claim to love her unconditionally i.e. claim to love her no matter what she does?

Several times in the Old Testament, Israel is referred to as being adulterous. This was because they would depart from the commands of Yahweh. In fact, the prophet Hosea was instructed to marry a whore to illustrate Israel's unfaithfulness to the Lord. When Christ's church strays, for it is certainly not perfect, it is adultery and yet Christ never abandons his church but rather continues to love his church unconditionally. That is the kind of love to which husbands are called.

Secondly, this passage states that husbands are to love the their wives as they love themselves. There will never be a time when criminals are allowed to judge themselves. They will never preside as arbitrators over themselves for the simple reason that they would be lenient. Very few would give themselves the punishment that they deserve. If husbands are to love their wives as themselves, they would never divorce their wives even if their wives committed adultery because they would not want to be punished so severely themselves. They would show much more compassion and forgiveness. "For no one hated his own flesh," the bible says.

If you don't agree with me on these issues, at least let us agree on one thing. Let your vows reflect your exceptions. I have told my girlfriend that if she decides that she would leave me if we got married and I cheated, then our vows must reflect it. Typically vows exchanged that I hear at weddings go like this:

"...In sickness and in health, for better for worse, till death do us part."

I will never leave you. The only thing that will part us is death. That is a vow made before the Lord God almighty, the maker of the heavens and the earth. How dare you let such words escape your lips and go on to divorce. It's sin.

And so I have told my girlfriend that if she will leave me in the event that I cheat, her vows must give her that freedom. "...In sickness and in health, for better for worse, till death do us part, except in the case of marital unfaithfulness." Sure, it won't be as "beautiful" or "lovely and sweet" as everyone would like but at least they would be true and not burden the one taking the vow to do something they feel they cannot do. Vows may be romantic and cause eyes to flood but they must be true. The vows must be solemn and not taken lightly. A vow before God must be followed through.

A classic example that shows just how serious a vow before God is, is that of Jephthah in Judges 11:

And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord and said, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the Lord's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.” So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them, and the Lord gave them into his hand.

When Jephthah got back home, he was distraught to see his daughter run out to meet him first. Well, he killed her. If a man followed through to kill his daughter, who are you to divorce your wife? I repeat, let us at least agree on one thing over this issue of divorce. If you're going to divorce, let it not break your vow to your spouse before God. Consider this if you are yet to marry.

It's All Gone

Imagine for a second that you got a call from your doctor saying they found a deadly disease in your body from your last medical checkup. The disease is incurable and would result in high medical fees, a long life of visits to the hospital, huge dosages of drugs and pain for the rest of your life. Being the optimist you are you quickly thank God for your loving family who would stand by your side and of course the savings you have and were planning to spend but would now channel to your health. No sooner does the thought cross your mind than do you get another call while the doctor is still speaking to you, so thinking that no news could be worse, you thank your doctor and excuse yourself saying that you have another call and would come in to see him later. You quickly pick up the next call and it’s your banker. He says that your bank, where you keep all your money, has gone bankrupt due to internal fraudulent activities and that all your money is gone and cannot be replaced. Before you can respond or even process this information properly a knock comes at your door. Again thinking that nothing could ruin your day (and life) any further, you cut the call from your banker, before he can even finish, and get the door. It’s the police. The cop takes off his cap and holds it to his chest and tells you that your family is dead and they’d like you to go with them to identify the bodies. They died on the way home in a freak accident.

Overwhelmed with all this you suddenly feel weak and seat at the step of your door. The cop lays his hand on your shoulder. Within a minute you have lost your health, wealth and family. What would your reaction be?

Well, Job went thru a situation much worse. He not only lost his health, wealth and family, he lost everything else. The bible records that four servants came in quick succession, each bearing terrible news. Before each one could even finish delivering the news, the next arrived with more bad news. The first reported that his oxen was gone, the next that his sheep were gone, the third that his camels were gone, and the last that his children were all gone. And all his servants except the four (for he was a wealthy man) were also gone.

Job's reaction is, for me, astounding. It's mouth dropping and really the more I ponder it, the more it becomes one of my most favourite passages of scripture. The bible says Job bowed down and worshipped. Wow.

What a walk with God this man must have had! And what a challenge, to reach such a height in my relationship with God that even after he takes everything and strips me bare, I can bow down and worship. May it be so!

Alice

The earth is estimated to have a surface area of 510,072,000 km², 29% of which is land. This land is shared by approximately 196 countries.

On the 12th of March 2012 it was estimated that the population of the world had exceeded 7 billion. That is 7,000,000,000+ people or 7, 000 million. Keeping in mind all this, I want to tell you about Alice. In this large and comprehensive world is a mid sized country in the heart of Southern Africa I am proud to call home. In the Eastern part of this country is a province called Eastern Province where a town called Petauke lies. In Petauke, about an hour's drive from the town centre is a little village called 'Ngozi'. In that village which literally is a bush, along the main dusty gravel road lies a grave yard. The grave yard is clearly old as it is has long trees all over it. If you walk from the road into the grave yard at just the right point, a few metres from the road you'll find among several others a grave with a cement cross that marks it on the ground measuring about the average length and width of a grave. A poorly handwritten inscription, 'Alice' is made on the cement cross that was evidently made with a little stick before the cement could dry. No surname, no date of birth or date of death. Nothing. Just 'Alice'. Judging by the very few more informative graves around Alice's, Alice died in the late 70s to early 80s.

Because villages tend to be more akeen to their heritage, if you dug deep enough, you might be able to find out where Alice's descendants or family is and ask them about her but even in a village set up, you may not be able to and in a few more years you will certainly not be able to find any information about who Alice was.

In all likelihood, especially judging from how relatively well Alice was buried, Alice grew up loved and cared for. She probably got married and lived to a ripe old age and had 'other sons and daughters'. And yet a few years down the line nothing is left of her other than a cement cross on her grave with an inscription of her name.

Don't be so quick to pity Alice. That is pretty much going to be your fate also. One day, and it might be sooner than you think, even with all you are and have achieved or amassed, you will be nothing more than a name on a stone in a cemetery somewhere. No one will know anything about you other than what will be inscibed on your tomb stone. You will be lost in the great wave of history just like a drop of water in an ocean.

It is a rather depressing fact. No one wants to have themselves forgotten and unidentifiable a few years or decades after their death. Everyone wants to be remembered. One way of achieving this is doing something remarkable. I am reminded of Achillies the great mythical warrior who was asked to come to battle a giant. A little boy was sent to find him as the challenge was that whoever brought down the giant would win the battle for their people. The little boy delivered the message and saw Achillies get up onto his horse to ride to the battle field where both armies waited for the two men to go head to head. Worried for the average sized Achillies, the boy warned him that his opponent was unbeaten and was perhaps twice Achillies size. "I'd never agree to fight him," the boy told Achillies. "That is why you will never be remembered." Achillies replied.

Unfortunately, not many of us get a chance to leave an outstanding mark in the anals of history, nor would any of us have the ability even if the chance was presented. The only way is to leave an impact that will last and be felt long after we are gone. I believe the little phrase puts it best; "Only one life, t'will soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last."