11 September 2013

Girl Trouble

Here's how it goes. A guy likes a girl. Naturally, he gives her particular attention. He beings talking to her a lot. He sends her text messages and calls her regularly. He makes sure to buy her a present on her birthday and celebrate with her in her victories and mourns with her in her losses.

Here's how it is. Today, the unfortunate thing is that if the girl likes the guy back, she 'lets him in'. She entertains him holding nothing back. It isn't long before the young fellow (who is helplessly 'in love' and cannot really help himself) is calling her sweet names, marking his territory for all other predators to see and stay away and really just taking her as his own.

Here's how it ends. The girl falls for the guy but things soon begin to get complicated. In some cases, months go by and the guy isn't proposing. Or he isn't providing any direction for the 'relationship' or definition for it for that matter. Or, worst case scenario, as guys often do when they are not tied down, the fellow moves on leaving the girl heart broken. She cannot hold him down because, he has made no commitment to her. She let him in without requiring a commitment from him.

Here's how it should be. A girl must realize that the only guys she must consider are serious guys. Guys who aren't around to merely have fun but guys who want one final and certain thing, to get married.

The first problem is that most girls want to play around too. In such a case, I guess the pair is perfectly matched, two playful characters. The ruin will be bilateral.

Some girls, however, are serious. They aren't looking to play around but they go about things the wrong way. Instead, they must be a delicate and wise balance of closing themselves up while at the same time keeping the guy interested until he makes the commitment by proposing. There must be a sense in which the guy is starved yet kept at the table. He must be kept in check. Communication must not be in excess. That is reserved for a boyfriend. Language of endearment e.g. "Sweetheart" or "I love you" must be none-existent and limited only to courtship. Gifts must be received with thanks but they too must be kept in check both in terms of quantity and quality lest he thinks he is owed something in return. Things like romantic walks, holding hands and generally time spent as a couple are all reserved for a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. Anything short of such a relationship must be treated as mere friendship until the guy makes that bold decision to propose.

If the guy is frustrated and leaves, well and good. As hard as it might be and unapparent, it is a better scenario than the possibilities if he is let in without making a commitment. That is why prayer is vital to seek guidance and counsel from the Lord himself.

A girls greatest and most delicate treasure is her heart. She must only give it away to the guy who is ready to take care of it and is serious enough to do so for the rest of his life. Anyone who falls short of that standard must be cut out. Ladies, protect your heart.

Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time. ~Song of Solomon 8.4 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)