11 October 2008


Someone once told me that she couldn't write without inspiration. I have found that I am always inspired to write. For me the thats the norm. Catch me on any day, anytime, give me pen and paper better still a blog, and I will write some thing. So am always inspired but unfortunately, my inspiration goes, I have come to realise, when I am upset. Whether I am the upsetee or the upsetter, I lose my inspiration. Anyway, what do I have to say about courtship?

I know that many older folks at church would be suprised to see young Mwindula, posting or discussing courtship probably because am still rather young or still regarded as young (It is especially so when people watch you grow or as they say, "you grow up in their eyes"). Anyway the issue of relationships is really huge among teens and post teens. I myself am under pressure to be in a relationship. When I shared this with three of my buddies, two of them said they too were under pressure. The third denied.

Most of the guys in my age group are in their early college years, a couple years away from independence and thus nowhere ready for marriage and yet are under pressure to be in relationships. I mean if we got into relationships now, we would be in courtship for atleast 4 years. Relationships should therefore be the last, well, second last thing on our minds. This is not the case.

The question is, where is the pressure to be in a relationship coming from?

I think it comes mostly from seeing our older friends bragging about their girlfriends and, you know, being in love and being with those they love. This, coupled with the predominant "relationship talk", among youths, could account for the source of the pressure.

I have some thoughts on the whole issue of relationships:

When an individual finishes school and begins college, he should, at that stage of his life, be able to relate to girls freely. In other words, that phobia of girls should be gone. At that point relationships are definately out! It will be years until he is independent and so it would be too early to get into courtship. It is during this period that he should continue to interact with his girlfriends or rather "friends who are girls". He should do this with all purity, i.e. No intention! His motive must be entirely pure. He should seek to relate to ladies like he would his sister, spuring and encouraging one another in love and ofcourse just enjoying each others company.

That is why youth meetings are so, so important. They facilitate this interaction. As he interacts with ladies during youth trips, evangelism, sports and so on, he will begin to appreciate the opposite sex and get to know how they are different from men. All wrong notions of women will begin to be cleared, for example, because of ones background, one may see women as objects. Interaction with ladies in ones youth group will help such an individual realise that they are not objects and thus one begins to regard women as they really are.

This topic is getting a little broad, perharps I should do it in parts...I'll end here for now though,